Next week I will be at St Clement’s, Kingston for Personal Peacemaking training. This training is organised by PeaceWise who offer Christian solutions to conflict. One of the requirements for preparing for this training was to read the book The Peacemaker: A Biblical guide to resolving personal conflict by Ken Sande. I recommend it highly.
Peacemakers are people who breathe grace. They draw continually on the goodness and power of Jesus Christ, and then they bring his love, mercy, forgiveness, strength, and wisdom to the conflicts of daily life.
Ken Sande’s approach to resolving conflict is called the “Four G’s”: Glorify God (1 Corinthians 10:31), Get the Log out of your eye (Matthew 7:5), Gently restore (Galatians 6:1), & Go and be reconciled (Matthew 5:24).
He explains that people can look at conflict either as a hazard that will hurt them, an obstacle to be conquered or an opportunity to honor God and benefit others. Ken suggests that conflict is an opportunity and our response should be one of Peace Making. This response is “commanded by God, empowered by the gospel, and directed toward finding just and mutually agreeable solutions to conflict.”
Not everyone will agree with his perspective that even though God does not take pleasure in hurtful events and is not the author of sin,
Yet, for his eternal purposes, he sometimes allows suffering and permits unjust acts by men and women when he decides not to restrain, even though he has the power to do so…Even when sinful and painful things are happening, God is somehow exercising ultimate control and working things out for his good purposes… Knowing that he has personally tailored the events of our lives and is looking out for us at every moment should dramatically affect the way we respond to conflict.
Hence God does not insulate us from suffering, but is with us in our suffering and accomplishes good through it. When we suffer insults, conflicts, hardships – God teaches us we need to rely on Him. When we suffer the consequences of our sins – God teaches us we need to repent. When we go through difficulties – God uses this to conform us to the likeness of Christ.
Ken Sandes concludes the book with a challenge,
Christians are the most forgiven people in the world. Therefore, we should be the most forgiving people in the world…
Jesus tells us we need to love and bless people who resist peacemaking. Non-Christians may see this as conceding defeat, and even naïve, but the apostle Paul tells us that God’s ways are not the world’s ways. Paul understood the transforming power of love that we have through Christ.
I like this approach because it is strongly Christian in grace, forgiveness and peacemaking in the real world of our brokenness. Reminiscent of Restorative ways of healing and living healthy relationships: learning from St Michael’s Collegiate School and my 2010 Easter message: Healing through forgiveness.
