Nursing home readiness?

Having recently celebrated another year on this earthly planet, my accountant sent me this test to assess readiness for a nursing home. (It’s good to have friends who care!)

I will be advising my results via letter one month prior to moving!

1. Johnny’s mother had three children. The first child was named April. The second child was named May. What was the third child’s name?

2. There is an assistant at the butcher shop, he is five feet ten inches tall and he wears size 13 sneakers. What does he weigh?

3. Before Mt. Everest was discovered, what was the highest mountain in the world?

4. How much dirt is there in a hole that measures two feet by three feet by four feet?

5. What word in the English Language is always spelled incorrectly?

6. Sally was born on December 28th, yet her birthday is always in the winter. How is this possible?

7. In Canada , you cannot take a picture of a man with a wooden leg. Why not?

8. If you were running a race, and you passed the person in 2nd place, what place would you be in now?

9. Which is correct to say, “The yolk of the egg are white” or “The yolk of the egg is white”?

10. If a farmer has 5 haystacks in one field and 4 haystacks in the other field, how many haystacks would he have if he combined them all in another field?

 

Here are the Answers

 

1. Johnny’s mother had three children. The first child was named April. The second child was named May. What was the third child’s name?

Answer: Johnny of course

2. There is an assistant at the butcher shop, he is five feet ten inches tall, and he wears size 13 sneakers.  What does he weigh?

Answer: Meat.

3. Before Mt. Everest was discovered, what was the highest mountain in the world?

Answer: Mt. Everest ; it just wasn’t discovered yet.

4. How much dirt is there in a hole that measures two feet by three feet by four feet?

Answer: There is no dirt in a hole.

5. What word in the English Language is always spelled incorrectly?

Answer: Incorrectly

6. Sally was born on December 28th, yet her birthday is always in the winter. How is this possible?

Answer: Sally lives in the Northern Hemisphere

7. In Canada , you cannot take a picture of a man with a wooden leg. Why not?

Answer: You can’t take pictures with a wooden leg. You need a camera to take pictures.

8. If you were running a race, and you passed the person in 2nd place, what place would you be in now?

Answer: You would be in 2nd. Well, you passed the person in second place, not first.

9. Which is correct to say,
“The yolk of the egg are white” or “The yolk of the  egg is white”?

Answer: Neither, the yolk of the egg is yellow

10. If a farmer has 5 haystacks in one field and 4 haystacks in the other field, how many haystacks would he have if he combined them all in another field?

Answer: One. If he combines all of his haystacks, they all become one big stack.


Comments

Nursing home readiness? — 4 Comments

  1. Bishop John those were great! By the way you missed a couple of questions,

    if a plane goes down in antartica where will the survivors be buried?

    Answer – you don’t bury survivors.

    If an electric train hearing north to Scotland at 110kph faces a head wind of 110kph in what direction with the stream go?

    Answer electric gains don’t have steam.

    If a triangle has 3 sides, and square 4, how many sides has a circle?

    Answer 2 an inside and an outside

    Finally did you here about the 2 blood cells that eloped – they went to the pancreas but father blood cell found then and took his little girl home, they eloped again to the liver and the father found them and took his little girl home, a third time they eloped and this time to the capillaries behind the left heel, but father found them and took his little girl home, finally they decided to seperate and go their ways as their relationship was all in vein!

  2. Dear David,

    I did miss these additional questions and probably just as well – it would have brought forward the nursing home admission date!

    Keep the fath. John

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